hey america, f**k your 2nd amendment.

I love waking up in the mornings. I've got my routine wrapped up so neatly it has a pretty bow on it. Yoga. Coffee. Fruit and yoghurt. The news. Writing. It's a good start to the day. But today was different somehow. I was made angry by something. Yoga was the same. My coffee was strong. Breakfast was tasty. I don't know, it must have been the news. But the news was the same. And that is what made me angry, the fact it was the same as always, the fact I got deja vu by the scenes. I turned on the TV and saw the all too familiar sight of a dozen US cop cars, the red and blue flashing lights that mean chaos and disaster. Then I listened as a news reporter spoke about Lafayette, Louisiana, which

dear barclays bank.

Dear Barclays Bank Plc, Today I received a rather standard envelope. Inside was a letter from you. That letter said the following: "Dear Mr Howell, your savings interest rate is changing. This means that the interest rate you receive will be lower." I read on as instructed. Lower actually means halved. I have been a loyal customer of yours since I was 16. I've been a loyal customer for 10 years. In fact, for all intents and purposes, today may well be our 10th wedding anniversary, it sure as hell feels like a marriage: I save money and you spend it. You don't provide an apology, no sorry, instead you just give a look that says, "Whoops, looks like more austerity." That's okay though. Luckily

a minute's insult.

The scenes in Tunisia have brought tears to people around the world. That lone killer has killed something inside all of us, that lone coward ripping into friends and families and loved ones, shooting innocents on a beach, innocents wanting to recuperate, innocent families wanting to bond for one last time as their kids grow up. They deserve much more than a minutes silence. Their families deserve the love and support and strength of each and every soul who shed a tear, from England to Spain to Tunisia, Syria and New Zealand. They deserve all the help they can get. I am proud that we can stand together and rise as one in the memory of those who were killed, but I am not proud of Britain's ro

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As a shameless opportunist, I'm going to use this footer area to remind you that I am a NUMBER 1 BEST-SELLING author, which means  you should probably go and buy my books, or my super-duper-rubbish artwork, or at least very least come back every 6 months to make all this sort of worthwhile. (I realise this totally contradicts the self-deprecating message of my website, but my imaginary agent said I should put it down as an afterthought. So I have. Happy now imaginary agent?)