at the time, standing up on the back of a speeding  beach buggy  seemed so rock n' roll. later that day  i  realised  there is   a thin line between rock n roll and moronic. i am a moronic moron .

about me

william hunter howell is a writer, author, ordained minister and former asparagus picker (and yes, his wee does adopt that funny smell after eating it).

(sh*t. i've done it again. i've written in the third-person. sorry.)

anyway, to give you a bit more insight into my journey as a writer, i didn't study english. i didn't study any language for that matter. a few years ago i just decided to write down some words and i have practised ever since. this practise has been futile as i still can't write.

 

i currently make my home in nottingham, uk. i currently don't make my bed. 

i am dreamer. a real dreamer. an everyday walter mitty.

i have a gorgeous woman i get to call woman, and an ever growing bundle of joy-slash-mayhem i get to call offspring. they are my mad ones. my mad little family.

i continue to write books (oh, and soppy emails to agents in the hope they will represent me out of pity. this hasn't worked yet. but i will keep on dreaming). 

note to any morons out there: morons can still get the girl.

oh, and so can the ugly-gappy-smelly kid at school, the one with the bowl cut and freckles

in case you hadn't guessed already

oh, and this is

my brother.

As a shameless opportunist, I'm going to use this footer area to remind you that I am a NUMBER 1 BEST-SELLING author, which means  you should probably go and buy my books, or my super-duper-rubbish artwork, or at least very least come back every 6 months to make all this sort of worthwhile. (I realise this totally contradicts the self-deprecating message of my website, but my imaginary agent said I should put it down as an afterthought. So I have. Happy now imaginary agent?)