scroll down to read a bit about the books

i have written so far.

 

there are only two of them.

 

i'm pretty sure scrolling shouldn't take you very long.

oh yeah, i  forgot, this is the kerouac-slash-bukowski-slash-thompson one. it's a dreadful attempt, as you can probably tell from my original blurb.

Rule No. 43257834

don't try and save money by illustrating your own cover.

The Crossing

Without a plan, Tallahassee Haywood arrives in Antigua on a cheap-flight whim and a need to escape the ordinary. Without the chance to argue, he quickly falls prey to a myriad of exploits, the shack he lives in barely providing a roof over his head as he works the docks of English Harbour, a deckhand for the filthy rich and a regular at filthy bars. Surrounded by money and booze and corrupted everything's, Tallahassee starts to realise his own way, his wants and wishes, his morals and integrities and deep disdains, his character suddenly shaped by adventure and greed, and the despicable secret of Antigua.

 

Not sure where he's headed, the chance to take on The Crossing arises from the most unlikely of places, and with it the rush of the unknown. It's the adventure that can churn out anything from peace to peril, Tallahassee forced into the life of a shellback as the white fangs of the big blue carve out men, his want to escape the norm twisting into the unexpected, a mad, mad journey, a kismet for the ones mad to live.

 

 

"Fantastic! It's Kerouac but on the water. Even if you only feel slightly mad to live, this book could make you do something about it. Another great book from this very talented writer."

Mike Harrington

 

"A story of what it means to escape numbness and leap into the raw emotion of what it is to live. A homage to the rebel writers."

Frederick B

 

"A great tale - one feels compelled to read this properly - no skimming and slipping through the pages with this book."

Jules Sheridan

Rule No. 5742009

don't try and save money by having your best friend do your front cover either.

even the title is pretentious and wordy. christ, it's like  i had tried to write a book without ever reading one.

Affable in Adversity: the bereavement b*tch

oh yeah, this is the no.1 best seller

Every time you are able to find some humour in a difficult situation, you win.”

 

This was my first book. It is he chronicles of a young man (me) dealing with bereavement and the journey it entails, which was really sucky because there were all these things I was never told about, like negotiating love, drugs, guilt, expectations and just life. Urgh, life. What a bitch. Oh bollocks, I didn't put a star like I was told I had to. B*tch. That's better. Anyway, this book sucks. I don't care what the people below tell you. It sucks. 

 

 

"Bereavement: we're not very good at talking about it: William Hunter Howell's book is superb"

Stephen Fry

 

"A heartbreakingly honest tale of grief that needs to be read by anyone and everyone."

Sarah-Rose Williams

 

"A must-read for all those in search of themselves after the loss of a parent. Watch this space-this young man can write"

Sarah Jane Ruffhead

i told you  stephen fry liked it. seriously, i know right. sorry what? of course it's the real stephen fry. fine, email me, i'll send you a picture as proof.

As a shameless opportunist, I'm going to use this footer area to remind you that I am a NUMBER 1 BEST-SELLING author, which means  you should probably go and buy my books, or my super-duper-rubbish artwork, or at least very least come back every 6 months to make all this sort of worthwhile. (I realise this totally contradicts the self-deprecating message of my website, but my imaginary agent said I should put it down as an afterthought. So I have. Happy now imaginary agent?)