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forget bieber, f**k the press n' paparazzi.

I know this isn’t a PA (Prick’s Anonymous) meeting, but my name is William, and I was once young, arrogant, foolish and most definitely a brat, particularly during my teens and especially from the age of thirteen through to twenty.

Actually, to shroud this mentality in a more understanding context, let me provide you with some probable scenarios.

  • If at any stage I’d had a Ferrari, Lamborghini and / or an Audi R8, I would drive fast, very fast. That’s just a fact.

  • Whenever I’ve taken a spray in the snow, I’ve most certainly written my name with said ‘wee’ (and some times I’ve even tried to draw Jesus’ face). Maybe I’m immature, but it’s just something I do.

  • If I’d had a mammoth mansion and an unlimited bank balance, then I would have most definitely held the most truly insane and utterly debauched parties imaginable. The kind of decade long bacchanalia that promoted excess and continued well past any sell-by date.


  • If my face were one of the most sought after pieces of photography, I’m pretty damn sure I would try to evade the paparazzi at all costs and even protect myself by almost any means necessary.

All of these thoughts and dreams are normal though, or at least they are to most adolescents attaining the ability to use their imagination.

In fact, as I scrutinise my childish ambitions of yesteryear (and today), I can clearly see my antics wouldn’t have been too different from that of Justin Bieber, and his currently ‘negative actions’. Now don’t get me wrong, I would never spit at anyone (especially my fans) and I would have a lot more class, flair and style when it comes to my everything. But I would still be far from perfect in the eyes of others, I would still be far from God’s ideal child and I would still be very detached from any form of halo. I’m not flawless and I more often that not make many a mistake. I guess that makes me, umm, human.

Maybe this humane outlook allows my illogical complex to suddenly snap into a mode of simplicity. A talent most noted whenever I’ve found myself reading about JB and his lifestyle, which has seemingly seasoned my newsfeed. You see I break situations down in my head and I quickly work out why certain things haven’t happened to me:

I haven’t assaulted a photographer, yet, because no photographer plagues my every move, day in day out, and I haven’t been assaulted by Bieber or his entourage, yet, because I haven’t trespassed onto his property, provoked his being or antagonised any situation he’s ever been in. Basically, I haven’t been involved in any hysteria surrounding him simply because I don’t care enough to frown at him, judge him or stalk his life in a way that prevents me from enjoying my own.

I’ve said it before and I’ll probably say it again, but I was a brat at his age. Actually, from what I’ve shallowly seen in our misconstrued press, I can confidently say I have done a lot worse than that kid, and what’s more, I never had the worlds press literally knocking at my door on a twenty-four seven basis and, like I aforementioned, I’ve never had intrusive paparazzi chasing my every step or every cruise.

But despite everything I’ve articulated, what I find impossibly hard to get my head round and swallow is, and this could just be a horseshoe-in-hand-wishful-thinking scenario, people surely don’t care about this pointless shit with the kind of predestined and inherent thirst they portray, do they? Surely people only read about the futility of celebrities because they are bored of their own lives, thus allowing the media to capitalise on a situation and force such procrastinations down their viewer’s and reader’s throats.

Unfortunately I’ve become one of these victims of mundanity, at least over the last three days or so, for my space has been littered with articles, shares, likes and comments, all of them regarding Justin’s mind-dulling deposition… and whilst I don’t agree with Bieber’s attitude from seeing the video, I side with him more than I do so with the press reporting on it.

Maybe it’s because I myself would have a seriously sarcastic attitude given the chance. Maybe its because I would literally jump at the opportunity to hold a massive middle finger up to the time-wasting authorities of bureaucracy and corruption, especially given they are (almost) failing in their protection of this kid’s rights. I mean, no ordinary youth would have their deposition plastered across the pages of papers, ‘news’ channels and YouTube, it would be a breach of something in this day and age without question.

Maybe I side with Bieber over the press simply because drugs, booze and fuck you attitudes have been rampant and rife in the world of Hollywood and glamour since it was established. Look at Marlon Brando, Dennis Hopper, Warren Beatty and Jack Nicholson. No I’m not comparing Bieber to these all star legends, but these guys were so anti the establishment and they all adopted rock n roll stance of self-importance that made them the legends they are today. But that’s juts it. Before there was twenty-four hour press, camera phones and 4G, there were only rockstar legends, and that got the people hard. Now we’re judgmental of the same thing simply because we have far more access to it, able to sway public opinion and bring someone down through the anonymity of a keyboard.

But with all that is being said, skewed and debated in this deposition of nothingness, I simply can’t buy into the press’s spiels whatsoever. They are so untrustworthy in principle alone. After all, it is these very papers, tabloids and media outlets that pay the paparazzi for their photos. It is these major conglomerates that pay the paparazzi to be aggressive, ruthless and intrusive, offering crazy cash in return for photos of celebrities ‘screwing up’, photo’s that show content akin to the very nature of the way they are taken. The facelessness of the paparazzi protects its individuals. The people behind the camera are protected by what their lenses snap, forever out of shot and always misshaping reality.

With this in mind, I am utterly confused as to why Justin Bieber’s bodyguards cannot protect him from blatant intrusion, but the world’s press can protect their cowardly informants? (It must be money!) But whether the law acts in the paparazzi’s favour and says their outrageous behaviour is correct behind the doors of a courtroom or not is royally redundant. For the way in which these blood-sucking-patience-crushing-morally-corrupt paparazzi go about their ‘business’ is wholly illegal, corrupt and immoral, and it is so on a truly basic level, a level commonly distinguished as right and wrong, a concept we learn through the consequences of our actions from the day we are born, and no matter what, this remains a predestined judgement at the very foundations of our makeup.

Bieber is far from an ideal role model, far from, but he is a far superior being when compared to the molecular disgraces that are the paparazzi.

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